If you have beliefs or opinions that may include, but not be limited to,
not condoning permanent tattoos, a closed mind concerning tattoos, or the lack of a simple art interest… Please leave my blog now, and come back next week for a post that we may both agree on!
As promised, I took to Twitter to gather your ideas on what to blog about this week. I was surprised to find that many of you wanted a deeper look into the permanent art on my body. Bare with me in this post… I've never deeply discussed this topic with anyone other than the artist that put them on me, Bobby Tinker.
My tattoos are something that I have always kept very private. Believe it or not.
To me, they aren't 'things' that I got just to show them off. My tattoos aren't objects for me to brag about in hopes of building my ego. Yet, they are small reminders of my story. Lessons that have had a large impact on me and my journey. I think of them as pieces to my puzzle. No matter how big or small, they put me together. I love them, and I don't give a damn if you love them or not.
A simple little word placed on the back of my right shoulder. The word has surprised me with a new meaning to my life every day. It's a reminder to myself that no matter the struggle I happen to face in life, it will never be enough to break me.
My son's name on my left hip. The meaning is self explanatory. In my opinion, this is probably the 'prettiest' tattoo I have.
Learn to Feel
Starting right below my left breast, then across my ribs, and going all the way to my spine. The placement was strategically thought out, considering it's on one of the most painful places to be tattooed. I was going through a tough time in my life emotionally. I had become completely numb to my feelings and emotions. I knew that in order to push through those hard times I would have to 'Learn to Feel' and let go.
This began my back piece. It is a piece of notebook paper, literally covering my back. I love to write, so the notebook paper is fitting. Written on the paper is a little part of a poem that I wrote: 'When my heart hurts worse than my head, that is when i will get scared… and that is when i will know, that it is worth it all.'
Close to bottom of the notebook paper is my last name 'Bookout'. The three O's are replaced with cupcakes representing my mom, dad, and brother.
*Fun Fact: In the top right corner of the notebook paper, there is a yellow rubber duck… Identical to the one used in the 'Teen Mom' logo. Being on MTV was a huge part of my life, this was my way of incorporating that in to my back piece.
Across my left shoulder I have an anatomical heart. Forgive me, but the reason behind this tattoo has stayed only with me. It's my own little secret.
Right under Bulletproof is a beautiful pocket watch with the time set to the hour and minute that I was born. Sooner or later, I hope to get script added that says, 'timing is everything even if its not on purpose'.
I have a realistic #2 pencil on my right forearm. It literally looks like there is a pencil laying on my arm. This is simply because I love to write, and as odd as it may be… I feel I only write well when I'm using a pencil. A pencil is 'my weapon of choice'.
I think that does it. It may be a bit strange for you to put it all together, but it makes sense to me. I love my tattoos, and wouldn't change a thing about them. My back is not yet complete, and I plan to start my sleeve soon.
Here are a couple of other things that I have been asked quite often:
Which tattoo hurt the most?
Let's be honest here, they all hurt like hell. It's not fun. But, I'd rather stub the same toe 10 times in a row than get tattooed on my spine, ribs, or close to my arm pit.
Don't you think you'll regret them when you're older?
Who knows, I might… I might not. They're there to remind me of the person that I am. Hell, I get on my own nerves sometimes…so I'm sure at some point or another my tattoos will piss me off. I may not always like them, but I will always love them.
To wrap this up, I'd like to share something that my good friend Kail Lowry and fellow tattooed momma posted on her Instagram page (@kaillowry) a few weeks ago. I absolutely love the way this is written, and the expression is very respectable…
I have chosen my tattoos carefully.
Look closely. As tools, they may grant you
a glimpse into the human I am.
Equally, the may shield me
from what you are if you cannot see
beyond the colors inked into my skin.
If you have any other questions feel free to ask.
Also, don't forget to tweet me (@macibookoutmtv)!
Until next time y'all!